Mom lashes out after baseball goer tells 7-year-old she is blocking the game without consulting her first: 'I guess I never learned the minimum age at which people speak to unrelated children'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 21, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

In what situations is it appropriate to moderate the behavior of somebody else's child? In a world where fewer people are having fewer kids and everybody seems to have a different approach to parenting them, it can seem like a more difficult question to answer than ever. 

While nobody has the right to traumatize random children just because they are stepping slightly out of line, there are definitely instances where saying something is probably better than keeping your mouth shut. Sometimes parents don't realize when a child is misbehaving (or they don't want to realize it), and 

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  • This is an issue that one woman was faced with when she attended a baseball game with her husband. There was a couple with two children in front of her, and the older daughter kept standing up during the game and blocking her view.

    By the fifth innings, she talked to the girl and told her that she couldn't see the game when she was standing up. This upset the child, and when her mom found out she was angry that somebody had spoken to her daughter without speaking to her first. The other woman wanted to know if she was right in her indignation.

  • 01

    AITA because I spoke to a child instead of her mom?

    AITA because I spoke to a child instead of her mom? My husband and I went to a baseball game. A family of four were seated in front of us - Dad, two girls about 5 and 7, and Mom. The seven-year- old was directly in front of me. For the first half of the game she stood up repeatedly - maybe 15-20 times, or more, to lean over her younger sister and talk to her father, two seats down. Whenever she stood, I couldn't see the game.
    via Solid-Junket4316
  • 02
    EVAAIR xfinity Centr Before 811 you dig
    via Matt Dodd
  • 03
    Sometime in the fifth inning, when she turned my way, I very gently and politely said, "You know, when you stand up, I can't see the game." That's it. Not angry at all. She turned around and sat down. It turns out that brief statement upset her a lot. I think she even cried a little. Her mother noticed, and after a brief conversation with her daughter, got really angry with me. Said I had ruined the game for all of them, and that her daughter didn't even want to sit forward in her seat any more.
    via Solid-Junket4316
  • 04
    It turns out that brief statement upset her a lot. I think she even cried a little. Her mother noticed, and after a brief conversation with her daughter, got really angry with me. Said I had ruined the game for all of them, and that her daughter didn't even want to sit forward in her seat any more. Mom said she was seven years old, and would be standing up. I was stunned, and said, "OK. I ... I didn't ask her not to stand up." After a few minutes, Mom turned around again and asked if I were a mo
    via Solid-Junket4316
  • 05
    Imagine the very most pleasant way to say, "I can't see when you're standing up" and that's all I said. Kind voice, with a smile. | guess I never learned the minimum age at which people might speak to unrelated children. It may be that NAH here, but this whole situation made the game a little less pleasant for everyone than it would have been otherwise. AITA for speaking to a child instead of her mom? I didn't know there was an age limit for talking to children.
    via Solid-Junket4316
  • 06
    ay...
    via Matt Dodd
  • 07

    Response was mixed, with some feeling that an intervention was acceptable and others feeling it could have been done differently.

    tornadOland NTA, you spoke to the child with kindness and respect. You didn't tell her what to do either. I'm sure as a mother you wouldn't mind if someone gently told your child the same thing. Seems like the other mother just didn't like that her kid was crying.
    via tornad0land
  • 08
    Solid-Junket4316 OP *might* have been crying. Not completely sure about that, but I could tell she wasn't happy. I would have been willing to explain things to the girl in a friendly way, age-appropriately explaining why I said anything, telling her it was ok to stand up once in a while (just not all the time), but after her mom lashed out I didn't dare. I really didn't think anything I might have done to repair the damage would have been welcomed AT ALL. <sigh>
    via Solid-Junket4316
  • 09
    JinxForASoda It wouldn't have and it was the mother's obligation to explain to her child about standing in their seat and blocking people's views. But parents who don't want to parent their kids won't care. They want you to ignore their kid's bad behavior just like they do so you don't disrupt THEIR enjoyment of whatever they're doing. They're lazy and inconsiderate.
    via JinxForASoda
  • 10
    Chiomi NTA. You spoke to her like a person and weren't cruel. It might have been more optimal to suggest an alternate action so she could still move around and talk to the family in front of her, but you're not obligated to optimal action. This is the kind of very minor conflict where a good parent doesn't stop it from happening, the way the mom tried to, but makes into a learning moment. But it sounds like mom here does not allow learning moments or guide emotional regulation. In her world I th
    via Chiomi
  • 11
    Solid-Junket4316 OP Thanks. I thought it was a nice, respectful way for a grown-up to speak with a child (would have seemed a little offensive to talk to the mom about her when she was between us), and could have been a very simple, easy learning moment. I guess families are different. Your perspective sounds a lot like what I was thinking/expecting.
    via Solid-Junket4316
  • 12
    Affectionate War7782 I am very clearly in the minority here, but NTA. I guess I am an outlier but I don't care if someone says something to my kid if I don't notice. If my kid is being disruptive, or kicking a seat on a plane, or blocking their view at a game...ok. If I didn't catch it I am fine with someone saying something. Everyone is in their own bubble and you need practice at operating in a world where others exist. It is fine to hear that your actions are affecting someone around you and
    via AffectionateWar7782
  • 13
    7 years old cry. She would get over it if the parent was like "Oh, hey, you aren't in trouble, she just can't see when you stand up. Do you want to switch seats so you can talk to Dad easier?"
    via AffectionateWar7782
  • 14
    Jolly-Cook-3041 NTA She is old enough to learn how to behave in public and you spoke kindly to her. Her parents are a h_les, they should have paid enough attention to her that they would know she was being a distraction to you.
    via Jolly-Cook-3041
  • 15
    van_delay OK. I ... I didn't ask her not to stand up." I mean you basically did. That was your intention when you told her what you did. Don't be disingenuous. A
    via v_a_n_d_e_l_a_y
  • 16
    potterhead1d Guess it depends on where you are from. But we take the whole "it takes a village" to heart. And up until very recently, it was considered more r de NOT TO say anything. Oftentimes, as a kiddo, I listened more to strangers than me parents. Because testing your parents is something you do. But when someone else asks you something, you listen. And it wasn't like you were yelling or something, so I say NAH here, but the mother was definitely overreacting. Assuming it happened as you de
    via potterhead1d
  • 17
    Reasonable_Patient92 Might be controversial, but ESH. Mom and dad should not have been letting her do all of that in the first place (have more social awareness), but you should have addressed the parents (and the kid) and not only the kid, because Mom was right there. You s k because you didn't ask the child anything. You said "You know, when you stand up, I can't see the game." How do you expect a 7 year old to process that? It wasn't a question, it was a loaded statement. That's also probably
    via Reasonable_Patient92
  • 18
    If you know a kid is young and has an adult right there with them, I'd default to addressing the adult if I have a request, not making a passive aggressive comment. Mom and Dad might not have been aware that the child's actions were as bothersome as it actually was, based on the seating arrangement. All in all, I don't think that speaking up was a bad thing. The behavior was impacting op and needed to be addressed. I just think to make everything above board, the statement should have been made
    via Reasonable_Patient92
  • 19
    A lot of people still have the "it takes a village" mentality, but a lot of parents now take offense to that. I'd rather run the risk of a parent getting offended if I said something to them rather than correcting their child and having them flip out on me for doing that.
    via Reasonable_Patient92
  • 20
    DianeJudith If you know a kid is young and has an adult right there with them, I'd default to addressing the adult How about treat children that age like the little humans they are? Make sure the parent is next to them and aware you're talking, but address the child, not the parent. It gives the child some agency and shows them you respect them.
    via DianeJudith
  • 21
    oatmelechocolatechip NTA! Sounds like a very sensitive child. I was like that as a kid. Doesn't mean you did anything wrong though! There's definitely times when an adult should speak to the parent and not the child, but I don't think this situation warranted that. The other parent overreacted. They should have comforted the child but also reminded them to be conscious of others and to please stay seated. As a parent that's what I would have done. And if I were in your shoes I probably would hav
    via oatmelechocolatechip
  • 22
    hammie95 NTA. I feel like so many people are missing the fact that you wouldn't have said anything if the parents addressed it themselves any of the first 19 times it happened. Yes, she's 7. No, she won't be perfect in public settings. But it's the parents' job to teach her to be considerate of other people in those settings. If they aren't doing that and the kid is inhibiting my enjoyment of the activity, I'm going to politely ask them to stop. Having a young kid and being a young kid does not
    via hammie95
  • 23
    Suspicious_Buy_4288 The mother saw her continually standing up she shouldave told her before you had to. I've told my 7 yr old granddaughter to sit down when she continued to stand because i knew there were people behind us
    via Suspicious_Buy_4288
  • 24
    EKsmom Going against the grain and saying YTA just because you didn't actually ask the child anything that could solve the problem. You told her you can't see if she stands and made her think she was doing something wrong. If you wanted it fixed then you should have spoken to one of her parents. I understand why the mom was upset here.
    via EKsmom
  • 25
    iambecomesoil "OK. I... I didn't ask her not to stand up." Yes you did. That's what you meant. You weren't just letting her know she wasn't transparent. You were attempting to get her to alter behavior. YTA for this bit only because you're clearly being obtuse for a reason.
    via iambecomesoil
  • 26
    rainyponds NTA, i think its respectful towards children to treat them like they're their own people. if the kid associates gentle feedback with a lot of shame and fear and upset that's probably the parents doing...
    via rainyponds
  • 27
    rutfilthygers YTA. You're a complete stranger passive-aggressively talking to a kid. The other mom is completely correct, you should have addressed her if you had to say something.
    via rutfilthygers
  • 28
    Specialist_Candie_77 ΝΤΑ And based upon how that woman addressed you I'm guessing she would have taken offense to you speaking to her about her daughters standing up and blocking your view, if you had gone that route. She is probably one of those - my kid can do no wrong - type. It sounds like she didn't even apologize for her daughter standing and blocking your view which would have been next steps after discussing her daughter's hurt feelings. This wowan is r de!
    via Specialist_Candie_77

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